So it's coming round to Christmas again - yet another year passed in the cycle of life, BUT unlike the previous couple of years this one has been almost normal. I won't say it's been totally without problems but on the whole the downs have been massively out weighed by the ups or even the "ordinary". Unfortunately the last couple of months have put a real strain on my progress. The death of my cousin Glenda who lost her struggle to cancer in October was a sad note as well as a reminder of my own mortality - she is the first of my generation to die and so I can see that we are no longer the "youth" of the clan there are two more levels below me now so they are now the ones who will carry on the family traditions.
But the last three weeks have been the hardest since my mother died 5 years ago. Many of my childhood memories revolve around my extended family especially my dads big sister. Be it simply social visits, hair cuts, baking. huge family day trips to the coast, holidays at the caravan or just sitting and catching up. One of the bedrocks of all those memories is my Aunty Mavis, she is central to almost as many memories of good times as my own mother. In fact she has always seemed like a second mum to me if not the rest of the Slater extended family. She was an incredible woman, fiercely protective of all her boys and I don't just mean her sons I mean all us, as well as daughters in law and grandchildren. She became ill in March and was rushed into Pinderfields twice and spent the the rest of her time being moved between various locations until she came home for a short time in late October early November where I was privileged to be one of the people she trusted to stay with her at home to help care a for her. Unfortunately she wasn't really fit to be home and she was returned to Pinderfields where she finally lost her strength and passed away piecefully with family around her.
Her funeral was a moving and upsetting event for many but I think we did her the justice she deserved. I was honoured to be allowed to do a reading for her as well help her sons carry her out at the end. She had left specific instructions - or should I say orders, as to what she wanted (those who knew her will know just what I mean) and the choice she made for her leaving the church reduced most of the family of my generation to tears. My grandmother was another big influence in my life and many years ago my cousin made a recording of her singing The Old Rugged Cross and this was what was Mavis's wanted as she left. The voice of my grandmother who passed over 20 years ago brought back even more memories and as we carried her out it seemed so appropriate. The party afterwards wasn't a sad affair it was a celebration with all the banter she used to love and enjoy and I know she would have been in the thick of it before sneaking off to do the washing up, just like she did at her sons wedding.
Goodbye Aunty Mavis I love you and miss you so much and I'm glad your at piece now and reunited with Dennis.
Looking back over the last year I can see myself returning to myself and no doubt others can too, hopefully even better than I can. The support of friends and family have all made a massive contribution to my continued normality - I won't say recovery as I don't believe that once the dog has decided he likes the taste of you he ever goes away for good, he's always hanging around for another bite. Good friends, even better family, starting going to the gym regularly as well as a super wife who has had her own troubles have all made this year possible
