Today felt like it was going to be a neutral sort of day until I answered the phone call I just received. On the surface it was pleasant voice on the other end and the woman sounded nice. But it was from occupational health at work and I have to go in to see them next week. One half of me knows it will just be procedure and that they have to do these things but it is making feel that they think I am lying and just swinging the lead and they need check up on me. I'm am now shaking and close to a panic attack for nothing. I know I should have nothing to be concerned about - I have doctors notes and it is on my medical records that I am ill but I still can't stop the feeling of being under suspicion. For gods sake do they not believe what my doctor says?
I know I shouldn't be getting myself worked up like this but I can't stop myself. What are they going to say what are they going to do what will they say about me and my biggest worry is do they think I am lying. All those and more are now tumbling around in my head and I just knoew they will be there all weekend until I have been to see them, and even when I have I will be worrying about what the result will be.
All I can do is just wait and se and hope I can hold it together.
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